Traumatic bereavement support plan for schools and colleges

Step 2 – Support the trusted adult

Supporting a child or young person following a bereavement can be difficult and upsetting. This might be more difficult for adults who have had their own experiences of loss or bereavement, especially if this has been recent. These meetings should support staff to look after themselves, notice any changes to their emotional wellbeing and provide practical support.

More information & support

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When Jeannie, Wesley’s trusted adult in school, noticed that Wesley’s difficulties continued to impact many areas of his life, she became very worried for him. She spoke to Raffia, the school additional needs lead, who suggested this might be a traumatic bereavement. Together they made a plan so that Jeannie could provide the best support. Raffia made sure to provide ongoing emotional and practical support for Jeannie.

Following the death of his father, Wesley’s trusted adult in school, Jeannie, called his mother and they talked about how he was coping and what could be done to support him. When Jeannie realised that Wesley’s difficulties were persisting, she got in touch with his mother again and they agreed it would be helpful to speak at the end of each week to share information about how he was doing.

Step 3 – Keep in contact with home

This helps to establish whether patterns of difficulties are the same at school and home. It also helps children and young people to know that the adults around them are working together to support them.

Complete information about the death

Knowing what the child or young person has been told about the death and how the family talks about it can help the school to provide more sensitive support. If the parents or carers have given the child or young person incomplete or inaccurate information about the death, this can increase the likelihood of trauma as their imagination fills in the gaps. Parents and carers may need support from the school and specialist support services to provide more complete and accurate information, particularly if they are struggling themselves.

Culture and belief systems

It is important to understand how the family culture or belief systems shape the way death is understood and responded to. This will help make the support in school more sensitive and might provide important information about the child or young person’s experience of the loss.

Changes at home

It is important to understand how the child or young person’s home life may have changed in other ways – for example, moving home, loss of income, more family arguments. If someone else at home is really struggling, discuss making a referral for support for them.

Network beyond home

Schools should work with other key adults in the child or young person’s network. Explore who this might be with the child or young person and their parent(s) or carer(s) and their preference about how much information is shared. Develop working relationships with social workers, youth workers, faith leaders, other family members and any siblings’ nursery, school or college.

More information & support

Tools &  handouts

• Having sensitive conversations with parents and carers (PDF)
• Traumatic bereavement: a guide for parents and carers (PDF)

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Jeannie, Wesley’s trusted adult in school, noticed that he found it more difficult to concentrate in the last lesson of the day. When she spoke to him about this, he said that towards the end of the day, he could feel the worry building up about going home and being reminded that his dad wasn’t there.

Step 4 – Actively monitor

It is helpful to monitor how the child or young person is doing, using the ‘Schools traumatic bereavement assessment grid’.

View the Traumatic bereavement assessment grid (PDF)

Keeping a written record will help track how they are doing. Share information with key adults and have discussions with or make referrals to other agencies.

Compare before and after the death

Monitoring the individual child or young person and comparing their needs and behaviours to how they were managing before their bereavement means that existing additional needs are taken into account.

Identify patterns and triggers

Closely monitoring can help in spotting patterns in the child or young person’s difficulties. If patterns are noticeable, explore with the child or young person what might be causing this.

It can also help to identify things that trigger trauma responses (overwhelming feelings or difficult behaviours). These might be things that are more predictable, such as Father’s or Mother’s Day, poppy day, religious occasions, an anniversary of the death or a birthday. However, other triggers might be more difficult to understand if they are linked to the particular meaning the child or young person makes of their bereavement.

If the child or young person continues to have frequent, persistent difficulties that impact on more than one area of their lives, this suggests it may be traumatic bereavement.

Consider referral timing

Differences in individuals’ responses make it difficult to provide an exact timeframe for the identification of traumatic bereavement or the need for referral for specialist support. Difficulties might arise immediately after a death, have a delayed onset or be revisited at any time after a death, even years later. If the child or young person is at risk (for example from self-harm or suicidal thoughts) then school safeguarding procedures should be followed and a referral made immediately to NHS mental health services (sometimes known as CAMHS).

More information & support

Tools & handouts

• Active monitoring log (PDF)

Animation connection

When Cara’s pencil case fell off the table at school, she slammed her fists down and left the classroom. The noise had reminded her of the sound of things being thrown and broken when her father was being violent. Her perception that he had caused her brother’s death meant that the noise triggered overwhelming fear and a ‘flight’ response.

Step 5 – Refer for specialist support

If the child or young person is at serious risk from themselves, it is important that the referral is made directly to NHS mental health services and that this is clear in the referral. The school’s internal safeguarding process should also be followed.

Where to refer

The local bereavement service will be in the best position to advise whether they can support children and young people who are showing signs of traumatic bereavement. If they cannot provide appropriate support (such as Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) they may recommend a referral to the NHS mental health service.

Involve home

It is very important to involve the child or young person and their parent(s) or carer(s) when you are planning to make a referral. They will need developmentally appropriate information about the service, the reasons for a referral and what they can expect.

If you feel you have enough information to strongly suggest that this is a traumatic bereavement, it can be helpful to discuss this with the child or young person and their parent(s) or carer(s).

It is important to be sensitive to worries that a referral might result in prejudice and disadvantage, especially if the family is from a minority community and have experienced this before. Explore their experiences and reservations and work closely with the child or young person, their parents or carers and the onward service to help build confidence in the quality of care available.

Provide as much information as possible about the child or young person to the bereavement service or NHS mental health service. Details from monitoring records you have kept will help form the basis of the referral. It is helpful to use plain descriptive language about the child or young person’s thoughts, feelings and behaviours, rather than suggesting labels or diagnoses.

Continued school support

When a specialist service provides support, the role of key adults in school or college continues to be very important. Partnership between school, home and bereavement or mental health services is key to supporting the child or young person to rebuild their lives after traumatic bereavement.

The UK Trauma Council has written a clinical guide for therapeutic practitioners working with children and young people experiencing traumatic bereavement. It might be helpful for schools to refer to the clinical guide when contacting bereavement services.

More information & support

Tools & handouts

• Referrals for specialist support – key information to include (PDF)
• Having sensitive conversations with parents and carers (PDF)

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Key adults at Cara’s school, along with her foster carer, realised that her difficulties were persistently affecting many areas of her life and her functioning. Discussion with a local bereavement charity helped them to identify that this was a traumatic bereavement. The bereavement service advised that Cara would need trauma-focused therapy and a referral should be made to CAMHS.

Step 6 – Hold the hope

Look ahead to important milestones in the child or young person’s life such as school transitions, exams or events relating to their interests. Find ways to remind them that there are things to look forward to and offer them images of themselves finding enjoyment and success in the future. Provide practical support, for example with college applications or helping them to find a local sports club. Help them to see that they will not always feel like this.

More information & support

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Jeannie, Wesley’s trusted adult in school, gently encouraged him to consider re-joining the basketball team. She reminded him about the tournament he and his team-mates had been training for. She and his mum worked together to make sure he had completed his schoolwork so that he would have time to play if he wanted to. Jeannie contacted local colleges to find out about basketball clubs Wesley might be able to join when he moved to sixth form.